You Know You Have Lived on Kwaj More Than a Few Weeks When....
You Know You Have Lived on Kwaj More Than a Few Weeks When....
Here's a “You Know You Have Lived on Kwaj More Than a Few Weeks When” list for you, just for fun:
• You know “Hono” and “off-island trip” are the cool buzz words, and if you are planning a trip “off-island to Hono” in the next few weeks, you should keep that info to yourself, or else half of the island will ask you to mail them things back from Walmart or the Ala Moana Mall. :)
• You can sing Marshallese songs with an American accent but still not have a clue in the world what you are saying.
• Your children are trained at school what to do in case they accidentally uncover ordnance materials or explosives here on the island.
• You are not listed as one of the “protected species” in the Kwaj handbook.
• You are excited about the fact there will be no department or sport store to speak of for 3 months, because AAFES is coming, and all will be right in your world once their contract takes over the retail here. [Can anybody say “WALMART”? :) Hey, I'll take what I can get....]
• You find yourself envying your friend's house, which is right ON the beach, when yours is across the street, wah, wah, wah.... :)
• You can name the 10 closest islands as well as some of the outer islands of the atoll and refer to them as if they are incredibly familiar to you.
• You have experienced either a toilet paper or egg shortage and lived to tell about it.
• You have seen at least two hermit crabs crawling around with a valve stem cap or screwdriver part as a “home” on their backs. Can you say “pollution”?
• You go to throw out your garbage at night, only to remember why it's a good idea to wear shoes at that time of day: coconut crabs!
• You consider paying someone to stay in your house while you are away over the summer just to keep the cockroach population in your downstairs bathroom at bay.
• You greet your cockroaches by name when you see them as you enter the downstairs' bathroom to get the Tylenol at 4 AM. You now know that bay leaves repel them (an area I was sorely uneducated in before moving here).
• Common roadkill sightings are no longer the stray racoon or unlucky deer at the side of the road but a daring crab or coconut rat that crossed the road during the school kids' commute. :)
• Your way of unwinding at night is watching the “roller” of Kwaj events on the community channel to see whose birthday it is this week, channel-surfing for the best reception, and counting how many of the same military propaganda commercials you have watched in one evening.
• You get excited when it's “fajita night” instead of Kalua pulled pork at the cafeteria, even though you almost never go.
• You bake nice, crispy chocolate chip cookies, and 3 hours later, despite the tight container they are in, the humidity makes them soft.
• The wire hangers in your bedroom closet are rusting faster than your bike outside. :)
• Your housing is at the top of list to be “condemned” as soon as you are the last one of your six-unit row to still be living in it.
• Your housing is rated okay for you to live in it but unfit health-wise for government-approved home daycare.
• Black mold has a higher rate of population growth here than the American Cockroach.
• A dehydrated gecko on the inside of your sliding glass door is as common as seeing a dead fly in your windowsill back home. When you toss him outside, the Most Vicious Predator red ant species takes 30 minutes to turn him to dust. :(
Wednesday, April 16, 2008